Waiting

Have you ever wanted something so bad you just couldn't stand it? That's me. It isn't anything out there or delusional. What I want is nothing new or strange. In fact, it's so easy and so common and abundant. Regular people all over do it every day, like a routine, and it is perfectly natural in every way. In fact, it has been a way of life for every one of our relatives since the beginning of time. All this, and it is the one thing I want most of all. I think about it as I lie in bed at night. I dream about it. Then, I wake up, and you are still there. I can feel your heat over me as you gives me what I require. How is it that the one man I offer myself to completely is also the same man who will not indulge in what I am offering. When I see you I want to take off all my clothes. I want to descend to my knees and feel your hands grasp my hair, guiding yourself between my open, wanting lips. Those were my thoughts today. Magnus, I know you are reading this. When we exchanged those words I know I must have sounded silly and seemed fidgety, but, truth be told, I was thinking about stripping naked right there among everyone in front of you. By what I was wearing, I have already told you this, but I want you to know that it is also what I was thinking. I was also thinking about writing to tell you. As we spoke, I thought about what I was going to write to you, what I am writing now. I have thought about it all day. So, I thought it would be appropriate to wear nothing now as I write. I hope that pleases you. If you haven't checked your email in the last few minutes you can see what I mean ;)

One Touch

I wish I knew what to write. I wish I had all the answers and could just be the woman he wants me to be. No, he needs more than that. He needs me to be myself, and then he will love me. But, I am not myself without him, without his love. How can I reject my heart by doing what he does not desire? No, I mustn't, and that is why I am writing. I write now to remind you, all of you, and myself, that I am owned by nothing other than my love, and my love is only his, and yours...all of yours. But, it cannot be mine or yours without Magnus. I had not learned to love until I felt him enter me. It was like a shock that electrified my bones, and now I live with him always, indulging in the perpetual rewards. Yet, when I see him, and I see him with another one of you, I wish I could bring that smile to his face. I know, I am selfish, but you all know how it feels. I know that I am part of what brings a smile to his face, just by my understanding...just by my ability to offer myself to him at all times, yet demand nothing of him. I do offer this to you, Magnus, but my body was built to be used, touched, cherished. I only ask for your hand to touch my skin for only a moment and I will be satisfied. Of course, your hands may take what is yours at any time and in any way.

Your Desire

One thing I like about you, Magnus, is that you don't think anyone should have to bottle up their feelings. We, I, everyone has too much value to suppress and deny the dreams and desires that fill our minds and hearts. As you say, what is life if we must go on living as slaves to one external thing or another? We need to look deep inside ourselves and realize our dreams, right?

I think about that a lot. I think about my dreams and desires. I want so much, so much of everything, that I know I'll never get most of it. I wanted to write about how much I desire to touch you and to make love to you. But, and I'll be honest, I am afraid. I think I am afraid because even more than I want to make love to you physically, I want you to love me as I love you, even if we never touch. You see? I want nothing but what you want. My most sincere dream is for you to have what you desire, but also, I admit that my dream is for you to desire me. If it is your desire to touch me, than it is mine. If you desire to put your hands on my breasts, than I want you to do that. And, if this is your desire, you should know that my body cries for your soft touch. It yearns for your lips on my bare flesh. It is ready for your open palm if you choose to spank me like some of the others, or punish me. But also, with your slightest desire, I welcome your hard, throbbing cock. As I think about this I can almost feel you inside of me as I burn for you. I can feel your power on top of me, and I wrap my legs over your back. I can smell your body, and feel your breath on my neck. We fit together so perfectly, snugly, as you push against me, into me. I know you so well, and have read about it. Your body attacks mine, first slowly, gently, and then gradually harder, then faster. You know how ready I am. So so ready, but I hold for you, suspend the lust that wells inside. It began so long ago, and I have waited and waited. But, I am ready for you, and ready exactly when you need me. By the time you pinch me I am already there, writhing, accepting the warm flood I crave so much.

Forgive me, but I do dream, and do want. I do this because I so want you to take my body and so I make it real in my mind even though it is not true and not your will, because it it were, you would have done it. I do trust you, Magnus, entirely, and I know you will have what you desire, but you can't prevent this desire, and so I share it with you. I only share what already exists for you to have, or to punish, or to dismiss. My desire is yours.